Growing up with a narcissistic mother11/11/2023 I began to realise in my mid/late 20s that our relationship wasn’t the same as the relationship many friends had with their mothers. Maybe in the new year.Įverything on her terms. Have you considered counselling? I should I know. I don't think I'll ever be 'free' to be honest, but I'm a child of a damaged, manipulative person with a personality disorder.' I've escaped, but it's left its mark. That said, I'm mentally bracing myself for blame from her flying monkeys (she will weave a sob story to who never will listen and I know I'm judged), vitriol from brother, and when she dies in future. I feel lighter, the burden of guilt to an extent has lifted and I don't feel so infected by her. I think it's only a matter of time before the whole contact is severed. I monitor the relationship keenly and, am very thankful for having loyal, loving and open DC who, despite me not saying anything in front of them, are sensing that things aren't quite right. She is a master manipulator and I don't want them to be drawn into the web of FOG (fear, obligation, guilt). I still facilitate some sort of contact with her and my DD's (teenagers) but even that fills me with dread. It came to a head last year and I've cut contact for my own mental health. She's since totally denied saying this, in the same way that she would never admit to lying / re-writing history to paint her as a victim, blaming my Dad for affairs that never happened, ruining my step-sisters relationship with their Dad abs wrecking their self-esteem, battering me in her tremor, calling me so many names - all of this will be denied. I've always known that she's disliked the me who loves my Dad many years ago she, during a tirade of frothing anger, told me she would never forgive me for having my father in my life. Support her, help her, be there for her but her lifestyle is peppered with poor choices, addiction and conflict. I always had a good relationship with him however, and from a very young age, knew something wasn't quite 'right' with her. She also re-write history to suit her victim agenda so as a result, my older brother rarely bothers with him. I've had a similar mother, but mine was also physically abusive. After that I’m considering reaching out to my dad then thinking I will get professional support on this. My plan is to have a wonderful Christmas, then we move into our dream home in January. Has anyone else recently gone through the same thing? How did you cope? I feel liberated in some ways to discover it’s actually not me but in truth am really struggling. I “stand up to her” and she flies off in a fit a rage, calling me names, swearing, making me out to be the issue. This toxic cycle happens every few months. I’ve decided enough is enough, I’m cutting her out. She the preceded to message my husband and my mother in law, then when they didn’t respond she emailed me telling me “she would drop my sons presents off at my in laws because she won’t spite him even if I will” For the first time ever, I didn’t get embroiled in it. Considering neither of us have lived with her for at least 3 years, that should’ve red flagged a while ago but never mind.Īfter a huge fallout last week over Christmas whereby I expressed my wishes, I was hit with the usual torrent of abuse. She was and still is, so dependant on me and my brother, especially financially. I no longer speak to my dad and I now suspect that’s due to lies she’s spun. Looking back, I now don’t know what was truthful and what wasn’t throughout my entire child/teenage years. It’s only been this last week through support from friends I’ve realised she’s a narcissist and I suspect, in the worst/strongest form. Never met her expectations, been given a tirade of verbal/written abuse if I ever dared question her or voice a different opinion, been made to lie about a fantasy life she used to have people believe we lived. Over the years I’ve had a tough relationship with my Mam. I hope it’s ok to post this thread on this topic, I couldn’t quite find the right criteria for “I think my whole childhood has been a lie”
0 Comments
Leave a Reply.AuthorWrite something about yourself. No need to be fancy, just an overview. ArchivesCategories |